


A “Not-So-Spooky” Halloween

by Notafanfictionwriter



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Disney, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28620216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notafanfictionwriter/pseuds/Notafanfictionwriter
Summary: Beetlejuice, and Lydia arrive in Florida to partake in Malt Sidney World's (a *delightful* play on Walt Disney World)  Not-So-Very-Spooky Halloween Party. Events are disrupted, Charles has a panic attack, and Beetlejuice feels right at home in the Floridian humidity.
Relationships: Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz, Beetlejuice/Lydia Deetz
Comments: 14
Kudos: 9





	A “Not-So-Spooky” Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> Ah yes, a story. I'm not a Fanfiction writer, or a writer in general for that matter, but this started out as a delightful gift to my beloved partner so I thought I might as well post it here. 
> 
> With minimal editing, and a slew of Florida references I hope you, my delightful reader, are at least mildly entertained.

“Florida is an experience... to say the least”, thought Lydia, as she sat, staring critically out the window of the monorail, her head resting gently upon the open palm of her hand as her elbow was supported by the window sill. Observing the scenery from her swiftly moving coach Lydia was able to note the thick, tumbling foliage sprawling across the swampy Floridian landscape. The monorail’s track, towering thirty feet over the monotonous swamps, and muggy marshes, gave Lydia a bird’s eye view of the occasional small pond, lake, or white tail deer that punctuated the otherwise boring ride. 

Often spoken about with an almost reverential awe in northern states; Florida was, in the eyes of those who had never been there, a perfect wonderland of sandy beaches, ripe orange groves, and everlasting sunshine. Each day a perfect seventy-five degrees with a cool, delicate breeze fluttering through the air, and fluorescent pink flamingos happily puttering around every corner. 

None of the postcard fantasies ever cared to share the honest truth about this seemingly mythical wonderland for geriatic citizens. Never was there a single mention of the ancient, scaly reptiles lurking just below the surface of every pond and stream, and not even the slightest hint about how, despite being the middle of October, Florida didn’t seem to get the memo the rest of the United States did about changing seasons. 

Florida was green, hot, and covered in mosquitoes. 

“People must take one look at a postcard from Florida, and immediately make the wrong assumptions.” Lydia bemused with a small, ironic grin beginning to creep on her lips. 

“Whatcha thinkin’ about, babes?” 

Brought out of her reverie by a familiar voice, Lydia glanced up to what she thought would be her reflection in the window, but instead found herself staring into the bright, canary yellow eyes of her closest friend and the best ghost she knew, Beetlejuice. 

“Oh, I just can’t help but think about how strange Florida is!” 

Beetlejuice began cackling, “Wow, that sure is odd to hear from you! Takes a lot to make you think something is strange, Lyds!” Beetlejuice continued to bounce excitedly in the mirror, “Gotta say, Florida is just my kinda state. Hot, sweaty, and STINKY, you thought my B.O. was bad, well these here Floridians ain’t never heard of deodorant, lemme tell you! Pretty sure they bathe in swamp water too!” Pausing momentarily, a dreamy look floated on Beetlejuic’s pale countenance, “... and that Florida man, now he’s my kinda guy.” Cradling his head in hands, Beetlejuice stared off into space, Lydia only imaging his internal adoration of all things Florida, and Florida Man. 

Giggling quietly, Lydia caught herself and quickly glanced at other passengers in the car; her father and step-mother, who were looking out the opposite window of the monorail. Lydia immediately felt her heart soften as she observed her father. Charles was tensely sitting next to the window, stress radiating off of his body in a constant barrage of energy, as his blue eyes kept darting back and forth between the interior of the monorail cabin, and the thirty foot drop below them. An energetic percussion accompanied his anxious fit, as he nervously tapped his foot against the blue carpeted floor; a solo performance undoubtedly announcing the impending anxiety attack. 

Delia, on the other hand, was either ignoring or completely unaware of Charles’ current state. Pressing herself against the window, Delia was pointing at anything and everything with newly painted, perfectly manicured nails. Commenting with loud enthusiasm about every benign landmark or creature crossing her field of vision. 

“Oh, look Charles! An alligator! That one has to be at least ten feet!”

Although Lydia couldn’t see the creature from her angle she had to cover her mouth to hide her giggle as her father’s face began turning an almost impossible bright shade of white, and his body began visibly wobbling in his seat. 

Beetlejuice audibly snorted, “Geez, your mom might kill good ole’ Charles on this trip! He looks deader than I do!” 

Turning back to Beetlejuice, now confident her step-mother would cover up any audible trances of her and Beetlejuice's conversation, Lydia continued giggling at Beetlejuice's antics. He had taken the form of cartoonish black and white striped alligator, with a set of fluorescent green teeth. “Gotta say though, if your mom ends up scaring Charles to death on this trip, it’ll really take the wind out of my sails. I was lookin’ forward to that being MY job.”

“Deadly Vu! I hope she doesn’t! I know my dad was looking forward to this trip, even though I guess he never realized he has an irrational fear of contracting Malaria from a mosquito… getting attacked by an alligator… or getting his face eaten by a Florida man .” Lydia mused out loud, continuing to list in her head the multitude of things that Charles has managed to discover a deep fear of during their short visit to Florida.

Pausing Beetlejuice curiously glanced around the cabin, brow furrowing in confusion “How long is this train ride going to keep going anyway, Lyds?” Beetlejuice mused out loud, “Startin’ to feel like the writer isn’t sure how long to set the scene for…” 

Lydia, waving her hand dismissively at Beetlejuice’s concern, “I’m sure we’ll be there soon, Beej. This isn’t supposed to be a very long ride, besides she hasn’t quite gotten to talking about how we’re on the monorail, to GO to Magic Fiefdom for Rickey’s “Not-So-Spooky” Halloween party….”

Before this goes on too long the writer would like to quickly interject that she has never written a Beetlejuice fanfiction before, and that she would appreciate it if Beetlejuice, and Lydia would let her tell the story at her pace. 

Scoffing, Beetlejuice read the sentence written right above this one, “Eh, fine, but if you start losin’ interest that’s on YOU! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

Well, given that the characters have apparently gained sentience, and are starting to get a little impatient, she will try to pick up the pace.

“Now this is more like it!” Quickly shifting back into his typical ghostly form, Beetlejuice motioned to the front of the train “Say babes, ain’t that Magic Fiefdom up there? Looks like the writer finally figured out when to get to the plot!” 

Exiting the monorail, Lydia was beginning to regret her choice of costume. Her father, Charles, had surprised her with an early birthday present to Malt Sidney World, and Lydia had delighted in the idea of dressing up as her favorite movie monster, the Wolfman, to the main park. She just...hadn't exactly taken into account the ninety degree weather that would still be present at seven p.m. in the afternoon. Turns out thick layers of brown polyester fur, ninety degree weather, plus ninety-five percent humidity were the ideal equation for rivers of perspiration.

“This costume is going to be my undoing”, continuing to mutter under her breath Lydia tried peeling a layer of the thick, furry fabric away from her skin as her, Charles, and Delia began walking down the red brick ramp to the entrance of Magic Fiefdom. 

Waiting till Charles and Delila got a fair bit ahead of Lydia Beetlejuice manifested next to Lydia on the ramp. In a normal setting this would have been a cause of concern, because people generally don’t react positively to the sudden appearance of a grimy, black and white tuxedoed spirit in the middle of what they presume to be a totally normal grocery store. But for whatever reason, Maybe it was the strangeness of Florida, or the magic of Malt Sidney World, but the throngs of people passing by didn’t seem to notice, or even really care that a floating ghostly apparition had just revealed itself. 

“Beetlejuice! Are you sure someone won’t notice you?!” 

“Aw, Lyds, this place is where people go to suspend their belief! Besides, it’s so damn close to Halloween nobody is gonna care, they’ll probably think I’m just part of the ‘magic’.” said Beetlejuice, putting air quotations around the word ‘magic’. 

As if on a cue, a small girl dressed up in a yellow and black ninja suit, with red hair woven into a long braid came bouncing up to Beetlejuice, “Wow mister, your costume is impressive!” Glancing over at Lydia for a quick second and noticing the puddles of sweat that were starting to form on Lydia’s brow, the girl’s face flashed into a mixture of pity and disgust. Quickly turning back to Beetlejuice she continued to fawn over his grimy black, and white striped suite, babbling almost incoherently about the apparent striking resemblance it had to a certain musical character.

“Thanks kiddo, but no costume could beat the ghost with the most!” with the blink of an eye Beetlejuice's face, for a split second, bubbled and morphed into a grotesque, disfigured caricature of a ferocious jack-o-lantern. 

Gasping in shock the girl was briefly taken aback, stepping back a little and nearly bumping into a portly tourist. Recovering from the initial shock, her expression quickly shifting from one of fear to amazement “Cool trick, mister! Are you a performer?!” 

Balking at the young girl’s response, Lydia watched Beetlejuice's triumphant expression fall, replaced quickly by one of clear displeasure. Crossing his arms and narrowing his yellow eyes at the little girl, he spit with venom “I damn well ain’t no performer, I’m the ghost with the most, and my getup is the original. That musical ain’t got nothin’ on ME.” 

Knowing Beetlejuice was smarting at the blow to his ego, Lydia quickly leaned forward and tugged at the hem of Beetlejuice’s coat, “Hey Beej, we need to catch up to my dad, and Delia.” Looking back at the little girl Lydia politely smiled, “ It’s very nice to meet you, have a Happy Halloween!”

Shrugging her shoulders the little girl took this as her cue to leave, turning and running back in the direction as to presumably where her parents were. 

Pouting slightly Beetlejuice grumbled, “Damn kids, it’s almost like they don’t know scary when they see it!”

Lightly patting Beetlejuice’s arm in comfort, Lydia began navigating Beetlejuice down the ramp, through the various security checkpoints, and to the entrance of the park.

Halloween at Malt Sidney World was a major event. Having never previously been to a theme park of this magnitude Lydia took in the overwhelming amounts of Halloween decorations that seemed to ooze out of every nook and cranny of the park. Ribbons of all shapes and sizes were neatly laced across every building facade, tourists were decked out in a variety of garish costumes, and an almost nauseating scent of pumpkin spice floated through the air. 

Meandering in the direction of the main square of Magic Fiefdom, various brightly painted pumpkins were arranged around large topiaries of various Malt Sidney characters right in front of the main gates. Each one meticulously dressed as some stereotypical Halloween being. Rickey Rat, the key figure of the entire park (and Malt Sidney World as a whole), stood in the forefront, a large rat with oversized ears, he stood dramatically on two legs; a large, midnight blue wizard hat adorning his head, and long flowing wizard robes swirling around his figure. 

Beetlejuice, floating next to Lydia, eyed the enormous topiary critically “ Why do none of these characters gotta wear pants? I’m a character… and look at me! I gotta wear pants!” Pausing thoughtfully, Beetlejuice mused, “ Actually, come to think of it, why do I gotta wear pants?!” Tapping his chin he continued, “Betcha this a proprietary thing, the author has gotta be scared of writing anything risque.”

The author would like to again interject that it is NOT a proprietary thing, but a pantless Beetlejuice would not forward the plot in any productive manner. Beetlejuice should REALLY just let the author write the story or she will have no issues just writing him out of the plot entirely. 

Ignoring the author’s interjection, Beetlejuice continued to Gesture wildly with his red tipped fingers at the vegetation incarnate of Rickey Rat, “Looks like this chump I went to Ghoul School with too! Used to think of himself as some ‘artist muse’, took a lotta pride in basically haunting artists so much they eventually started drawing him…” 

Looking up at the topiary with Beetlejuice, Lydia tilted her head, a look of confusion crossing her face, “You know, Beej, if I didn’t say so myself I’d say Rickey Rat almost looks… smug? And did his face change?” 

Beetlejuice shrugged, “Eh, it’s a buncha plants, babe. Can’t ever trust em’.” 

Still eyeing the tophiary suspiciously, Beetlejuice and Lydia began making their way back to the Main Street of Magic Fiefdom. Scanning the crowd for Charles and Delia, Lydia saw her father leaning haphazardly over a trash can in the midst of an anxiety attack, while Delia was absentmindedly patting his back, somehow having already acquired a pair of felt Ricky Rat ears, and a large colorful button that said “First Time to Malt Sidney World”. 

Pushing her way through the crowd, and tugging Beetlejuice by the hand along Lydia heard Delia exclaiming, “Oh, Lydia! Your father seems to be having a mild case of nerves, so him and I are going to find a nice, quiet little area to relax in while he calms down!” suddenly noticing Beetlejuice, Delia cried with delight, “Why! Mister Beetleman! Do you work at Malt Sidney World too?! My, my… you are really SO multi-talented!”

Soaking up the praise, Beetlejuice grabbed the lapels of his grubby suit, “Well, what can I say… I’m sure surprised that they haven’t made a movie for me yet, or some animated series. I’m kinda a big around these parts” Lydia had to hide the bemused rolling of her eyes, Beetlejuice was always going on about how he deserved to have a movie or television show. 

“Oh, Lydia! Why don’t you and Mr. Beetleman explore around the park, and meet us back here for the parade, and the big firework show?!” 

Excusing the fact that Delia had only met Beetlejuice as Mr. Beetleman once or twice, and it was arguably questionable that Delia was letting her go off exploring with essentially someone Delia should’ve considered a stranger, Lydia decided against pointing that fact out, and simply nodded quickly in agreement with Delia’s suggestion.

After waving goodbye to comically oblivious Delia and a panicking Charles, Lydia quickly turned back to Beetlejuice. Noticing a mischievous glint in his eyes, Lydia asked “ Beetlejuice, what are you thinking?”

Raising his hands in a gesture of innocence, “I ain’t thinkin’ anythin’, Lyds. Nothin’... I swear!’' Pointedly looking at anything but Lydia, Beetlejuice’s eyes skipped from focal point to focal point.

“Beetlejuice…” 

“Alright, alright, babes… I can’t help but think how great having a big ole’ parade must be. This Rickey Rat guy, he gets all the fun and adoration. Dontcha think I could make an even better parade?! Think about how much all these here folks would love it!” 

Crossing her arms and raising one eyebrow, Lydia glared at Beetlejuice, “Beej, promise me you won’t go and mess around with the parade.” 

Seeing that Lydia had enough forethought to predict the outcome of his… creative interference... Beetlejuice crossed his arms behind his back, and lowered his head, looking at Lydia with a small pouting expression that would have rivaled a sad puppy, “Aw… Lyds… “ 

Placing her hands on her hips Lydia quirked a skeptical eyebrow at Beetlejuice, “Beetlejuice....” 

“Alright, alright, Lyds, I cross my heart and hope to die. I promise I won’t mess around with the parade!” gesturing an exaggerated ‘X’ over the spot where his heart should have been. 

“Beej, do you even have a heart?” still a little suspicious, but knowing the Beetlejuice always did the best to control his impulses when she asked him too, Lydia nodded her head, and quickly grabbed him by the hand and began dragging Beetlejuice to the back of the park. 

“Come on, Beej! We have to hurry! Let's try to get to the Spooky Mansion ride before the line gets too long!” 

Feeling Lydia’s hand in his, Beetlejuice felt his non-existent heart warm, she really was his best friend… It almost made him feel a little twinge of guilt about what he was going to do later…

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there you have it. Hope you enjoyed, and maybe come by for the next installment. 
> 
> -NotaFanfictionWriter


End file.
